So where do we go from here? I just spent several days going over all the flaws with gendered society, both on the side of women and men. I think, in reality, it is only troubling to consider these faults because they can impact so many people on such a large scale. Men have high suicide rates. Women have high rates of sexual assault. It’s really dangerous. At the same time though, it’s also really important that we are gendered to an extent.
Think about it. Think about the people you find attractive. What makes them attractive? Is it that they are intellectuals? Is it that they have a good physical form? Are they all men? Women? Are they the same gender as you? The vast majority of people would answer that they were the opposite gender that they were. How do you know they are the opposite gender? Is it just that one has a higher muscle density, or that someone else has breasts? Who ever it is that you are thinking of (or looking at), they are probably clothed. You can’t see their genitalia. Yet it is extremely easy to tell by looking at a person if they are male or female.
Likewise, the romantic male-female dynamic that exists in contemporary society plays towards “the ideal man” and “the ideal woman.” Is this really a bad thing? I mean we have discussed how bad it is for the psyche of many people, but is it really bad to have a gold standard? I certainly know that I personally would prefer that the woman I end up with was thin, short, and stereotypically beautiful. So at what point is this preference about being equal in comparison to being ideal? Should we flirt equally with people we find less attractive, simply because they might be more intelligent? Should we flirt with the beautiful people less because we want to focus on who someone is as a person, rather than what their outward appearance is? Why do so many men watch pornography then? Why do so many women fantasize over sex objects like Tom Cruise, Chris Evans, or Adam Levine?
At what point should we abandon our upper brain activities in favor of our lower brain ones? The lower brain has existed for quite a bit longer, so if you believe in evolution, the lower brain probably is more precise and attuned to what an ideal mate is, where as the upper brain is still continuing to develop.
It’s interesting. After postulating about how we shouldn’t give in to the lower brain pathos categorization of people based on innate qualities that some people are lucky enough to have, it’s still a romantic notion to think of a rugged man taking down a terrifying beast in order to save a beautiful princess. That quick analogy doesn’t even say that they get married or have sex, but you probably had imagined the rest of the classic stories from just that much information.
I think that, in closing, while we often should just go with our gut feelings, because they are so much more attuned to the wavelengths of nature, it is also important to think freely to make sure that the gut feeling is also the morally acceptable feeling. It’s easy to have the gut feeling “I want to have sex with that person.” It’s hard to have the mind that can say “Even though I want to have sex with that person, I need to pause and consider how my desires are affecting their life.”