Hope your long weekend went well! I know mine went…well, actually not the best. I spent my Saturday at work and my Sunday preparing for a date that I ended up getting stood up on. In LA…which is a 45 minute drive from my house. Yay…So lets talk about that!
Of course, I don’t have any interest in complaining about that person. Everyone makes mistakes. And they get busy, or don’t realize the effects of their actions. That being said, I think that a lot of people need a quick refresher in the world. Because the world is something we all live in, not just the few people that are in a person’s social circle. Seriously. There is more to life than family, friends, and assholes that cut you off at the intersection on the way to work. Yellow means that if there’s someone turning left, don’t dive into the road and make them awkwardly wait until the light is red to begin moving! Jeez.
Anyways, I digress. People use sorry as an excuse a lot. Think about it, all the friends that have been late, or anytime someone at work dropped the ball, sorry is always the first thing they say. And often times it is so trivial. Saying sorry does not actually mean that they feel bad. It just means that they wish to be forgiven. It’s so easy to miss that distinction too. Because many parents raise their children to not realize that there is a difference between wanting to be forgiven and feeling bad for one’s own actions. Guess what, sometimes forgiveness takes more than an apology. Sometimes being forgiven is something that has to be earned.
Put it that way and suddenly it’s much less fair for a person to be mistreated. Suddenly being late for dinner, or showing up drunk to a family get together becomes something less acceptable, right? Everyone deserves the chance at forgiveness, but to be forgiven requires more than just genuine remorse. It requires actions. Sometimes those actions are really easy to resolve—for example, I broke a friends plate by accident while I was over for dinner. Simple mistake, it happens. I apologized, but I also paid for their plate. Because if I had simply said sorry, and then walked out of the house, then I’m not really that sorry, am I?
On other occasions though, it is really hard to draw the distinction between when a person means that they are sorry and when they have made up for the mistreatment they have given someone. Getting stood up is a good example. How does someone make up not only the person’s time that they wasted, but also how that lack of caring impacted the person? Being taken for granted is just about the worst thing a person can feel. It tears at their core. It’s like indirectly saying that one person is less of a human being than another person. Which is awful to think about.
Anywho. I could easily be wrong. I know that many people deserve moments of forgiveness without compensation. Sometimes people have extreme circumstances. But if that’s the case, can’t a person at least be expected to tell the person ahead of time? That seems like the right thing to do.