Hello everyone,


How is everyone doing this Monday? I guess it’s a Monday so that’s somewhat of a rhetorical question. Any who, I am running on a cool 5 hours sleep because I’m apparently insane. Yesterday I had a date, which was cool, and we got along well, which is also good. We had some very interesting conversations, and that made me want to talk about dating etiquette some more.

I don’t want to talk more about the whole “who should pay” thing, since I’ve talked about that before. But I do want to talk about the hard aspects of dating. Number one is conversation. Now personally, I think I’m pretty good at judging if someone wants to talk or if they want to listen, and I can do a pretty good job filling that void. Sometimes when I’m unsure I talk a little more than I should, but I like to think of myself as a pretty polite person, so I don’t really stray into discussions that are too weird. Of course, I’m also in no way smooth, and I am physically pretty reserved.

That being said, we got pretty meta on my date yesterday, where we went into discussion about dating and the awkward aspects of dating in the modern era. Of course we talked about who should pay, but we also talked about expectations and politeness. One of the areas we didn’t really go into but that I have thought about was the difference in household lifestyles and how they affect people when they interact. For example, she’s gluten free for reasons I won’t go into, but that somewhat limited where we could go. We’d set up a place, but didn’t realize they were closed. We walked to a couple place close by and found a place. Now, I know that sounds simple and easy, but we went into a couple places and walked out when they didn’t have options that suited her. Which seems like…duh, right? Except I think that there are some people out there who would have not been happy to walk around looking for a place that was suitable for both people. Like that would have just ruined the night for them.

Let’s also look at holding the door. That’s sort of a societal standard like…guys hold the doors for girls. General “chivalry” stuff. Guys sit after the girl is seated, pay for the food, walking on the sidewalk so that the guy is closest to the street, etc. Except nowadays that’s more free form. Personally, I held the door when things weren’t too busy, but where we ended up going was super busy, so I went inside first, because there was less room to maneuver. Was this rude? I don’t think so, and I doubt it even crossed her mind.

But if it did cross her mind, how does that reflect on me? Should it reflect on me? Should we judge people by simple actions like holding the door? I like to think that people are more complex than that, and yet at the same time one of the easiest indicators of how a person will treat you later on in life, and how they go through life, is simply by observing how they treat waiters. Let me know what you think!



  1. I think that when getting to know someone, it’s important to communicate about what makes one feel comfortable and respected. While one woman may prefer having the door held open for her or the tab picked up for dinner;
    another may perceive it as belittling, etc… If what the other person does express that they want, feels okay and reasonable to you, then it seems that the relationship can be more intimate; especially if they are taking the time to learn about and consider your wants and needs too!

    Liked by 1 person

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