They broke The News with “breaking news,”
Trying to give us some breaking blues.
Trying to give us our just desserts.
And turning our children into perverts.
This just in: a black cat’s stuck in a tree,
and why it’s his fault will be on at three.
And come three o’clock, you know what they said?
That all black cats have it wrong in the head.
The clock strikes ten on Tuesday at the bar,
and the TV asks where my children are.
Me, who spent his pay on Satan’s water.
Prob’ly good that I don’t have a daughter.
Then again, there’s a fat man two seats down,
red cheeked because his daughter “dates a brown.”
He’s been drunk since that program on the cat,
and applauded when it fell in a splat.
But nowadays, that’s a good Christian man:
Claiming that he knows the depth of God’s plans.
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