THE KOI

The cold, dead eyes of the koi

Make me wonder. How exactly

Does such emptiness also carry

Such infinite wisdom?

 

They vacuum away at pebbles

In stagnant, green waters,

Hungry for their feed.

Their pillowy tails look

Like silky clouds, drifting lazily

Through an empty summer sky.

 

My eyes get lost

In their broken speckles

Of orange and black and white.

Do you think we will ever learn

To see past color

As they do?

 

It is almost as if

The hardship of time,

Who pillages our human lives,

Was repulsed by their intricate scales.

Scales, not unlike those of Themis,

Who rebuffed the wicked

In olden days.

 

Oh, what I would give

To know what they know;

To see what they see;

To live as they live.

For I too am a fish,

One from a bigger pond,

And faster currents,

And if I’m not careful

They will suck me away

As they have many others.

——

 

Hello there!

 

Did you like this poem? Let me know by leaving a like and a comment!

Want to keep up-to-date on all my posts? Follow my blog!

Want to see more of my work? Check out my blog’s site!

Want to read more of my stuff, but don’t go on WordPress often? Check out my Facebook page!

There is also an Instagram for my blog! Follow me there for visual highlights of my writing!

Advertisements

CHAPTERS (AND OTHER HAIKUS)

Morning Showers

Hey look it’s morning!

We live in California…

Why is it raining?

 

Sleeping In

I am still in bed

And it’s already past one

I wish I had friends.

 

Help!

I need somebody.

Help! Not just anybody.

Just someone to love.

 

Chapters

As I turn the page

I find that all the new words,

Fill me with meaning.

 

Staring

I end up thinking,

“Who am I supposed to be?”

When they look at me.

I WROTE YOU A POEM

I wrote a poem for you

But I didn’t think you’d want it.

So I let it go.

I let it fly out across the wind

Up and up

Until I couldn’t see it again.

And I’m told it flew so far

That it passed through storms

And sunny skies alike.

Until, finally, it landed

In a hot, vapid fire

And it was consumed

For the paper fuel it was.

 

In that way, I suppose,

It was like me.

TRAFFIC STOP (AND OTHER HAIKUS)

See-Through

I want to see you.

In fact, I want to meet you.

It’s hard being see-through.

 

Little Darling

And here comes the sun

To melt the frost of winter.

I say, it’s alright

 

Juicy Sweet

I pick a ripe peach

And find it so juicy sweet

It is my precious.

 

Traffic Stop

I’m surrounded by

These dense white and black sign posts,

Yet they all bleed red.

 

Views from the Coop

Look at the chickens

Waiting for their daily feed;

Pecking at their kin.

LOVE POEM #12 -AT THE EDGE OF THE WORLD

So here we are again,

At the edge of the world,

Looking off into the fire below.

At least it has a nice view.

 

At least we have this moment, me and you,

Too lock our pinkies, and say “I do.”

This moment to take one last breath,

In the instants before our death.

 

In the instants we see our mistakes,

A last second where things break,

A last second before we fall,

And say goodbye to it all.

 

And say goodbye to one another,

As our fingers grasp each other.

But the bellows of the fire,

Beckon for us to join their choir.

 

Beckon for us to leave this place,

To jump off into outer space.

To leave behind all the pain,

So here we are on Earth’s last plain.

 

So here we are again,

At the edge of the world,

Looking off into the fire below.

At least, my love, I’m here, with you.

 

At least I got to say “adieu.”

RED SUNRISE – POST ELECTION THOUGHTS

Hello everyone,

 

So I am a pretty far left-wing person, and I’m here to digress about my perspective of this election. It’s currently 10:56 PM in California on Tuesday of the election, and I’ve seen a lot of things happen today. I got a text of disbelief from my family when Trump was leading early on in the election process today. Then I saw all my friend and family joking about how he could never win. I, myself, could hardly believe it, but in the pit of my stomach I could feel that something was wrong. Then the day went on, and I, along with many others, turned in my ballot to vote. Now, I’m in California, so it really doesn’t matter that I voted, mathematically, because California is a strong blue state. Yet I voted none-the-less, because it it my belief that all people should take advantage of the choices they are given. As the night wore on, it became clearer and clearer that Trump was winning this election.

The first major tip off for me was that he was ahead in all the swing states. He won Ohio, which is a corner stone state for elections. And things were still not really setting in for people on my Facebook feed. Then Florida came down to the wire and Trump won. Everyone of my generation has feelings about votes in Florida that come down to the wire, because when Bush won Florida by a supreme court ruling, it was talked about by everyone’s mom and dad pretty much until Obama was elected. This seemed to be when everyone woke up to reality. And suddenly all my friends, all these well intentioned Democrats, started to panic. How could Trump be winning? How? He called Mexican immigrants rapists! He was backed by the KKK! He bragged about sexually assaulting women! He said we should persecute Muslims!

So then how did he win? It seems so obvious to me that he is not an acceptable candidate for our country, but 49+ million people voted for him. That’s a literal fuck ton of people. It’s not just racism. It’s not just anti-Hilary. People believe this guy will actually change the way America works. At its core, they believe what he has said to be true. In at least some of their eyes, all these things he said is true. Now, I dislike Trump, but he is a powerful speaker. He uses concise, simple language that is direct and to the point. You know that idea that some guy is a ladies man because he is self-confident? That’s what Trump expresses to people. He also uses my favorite rhetorical device, hyperbole. “Make America Great Again,” is a slogan that feels hyperbolic. But hyperbole incites people. It hits people in their emotional areas. It’s an appeal to pathos, but it appears as a logos argument, which makes it really hard to argue with.

Which is what the election became about. It became about who had the more important issue. And the reality is that Trump crafted more important issues. They might not be really important in the scope of the world, but he made them seem more important—and at what point does “seems” and “reality” not simply become the same thing? I’ve talked about this before. If you say something is true for long enough, it becomes true, because truth is relative to what humans perceive. Hillary became the enemy to Red America. Less people trusted her than Trump, despite numerous studies showing that he lied on a more consistent basis than any other candidate in the entire election cycle. And the problem is that the DNC let it happen. They did not handle Bernie Sanders well, which divided the party and made “party unification” something that felt begrudging. “Fine, I’m with her, I guess” was a real bumper sticker, to further illustrate my point.

Trump thrives on hyperbole. He made a TV show emphasizing the phrase “You’re Fired.” If you have ever played a game competitively, you know that once you begin playing your opponents game, you have already lost. If you are an aggressive team, you have to stay aggressive, or you will lose because you are in an uncharted territory. You may think Trump is an idiot, but he’s clearly grabbed American democracy by the…throat. Now, I’m all for country unity, but country unity requires the unity of all people. Which I’m not sure a Trump candidacy can ever do.

Some of my close friends are terrified. The LGBTQA friends I know are horrified by Mike Pence, and rightfully so. The guy OK’d electroshock therapy to “cure gays.” My immigrant friends are afraid—even the ones that are here legally, because they know that a mob mentality can sweep away people who have done nothing wrong. It only takes a spark to catch fire, but that spark can burn for hours on end. Don’t believe me? Move to California for a summer and see how fires start. Or look at how some people are speaking to and about minorities now, and see that in many peoples eyes, People of Color are still lesser beings.

“Who could have seen this coming?” Well, I did. It was pretty clear from the primaries that he was going to win. He knocked his opponent’s off balance. He sowed the seeds in rural voters minds that politics were failing and that they had been rigged, then used his ethos as a “successful” businessman to get them fired up enough to come out and vote. Rural voters were up from 19% in 2012 to 26(ish)% this election. This is something that the Hilary campaign did not do. I’m not saying Hilary didn’t run a good campaign—by normal standards, she ran a very good campaign. She was composed, she was rhetorical, she was educated, she was far more prepared than any candidate we’ve seen in recent debates aside from perhaps her primary opponent, and she was extremely experienced. The problem was, that wasn’t what this campaign was about.

I brought up hyperbole, and negativity was another key aspect of this campaign. This should have been obvious, given how vile the 2012 campaign got due to Citizens United. What, did we think things were suddenly going to be nice? No. Trump is a direct result of Citizens United. He embodies negativity, and even embraces it. He took a video tape of him bragging about sexually assaulting a woman, embraced that he did it, and moved passed it. WE ARE STILL TALKING ABOUT HILARY’S DAMN EMAILS. Trump didn’t let something phase him, or act as a thorn in his side—even if it meant saying something more obscene the next week to get away from it. Hilary…kinda did. And maybe it was out of her control. People kept bringing it up, and maybe this wouldn’t have happened to a man and our country is still sexist. Excuses. True maybe. But they are excuses.

The fact of the matter is that those issues needed to be put to rest. Instead of “I accept responsibility for X and in the future” it should have been “Yeah, I made a mistake, but you know what? Everyone makes this mistake. It’s so common.” And then listed all the other embassy attacks that were mishandled and private email servers that had been used. Maybe even, I don’t know, bring up her opponents use of hidden information? If the election is about hyperbole, negativity, and strength, then don’t let it be Trump’s court. Make it your court.

I digress. I am worried for my friends. Tensions are high. That happens when things are taken out of proportion, which happens a lot around election year. The stock market was up earlier today, and now it is falling. Women feel threatened. Non-white Americans feel threatened. Non-Christians feel threatened. Democrats feel threatened. Journalists feel threatened. Our allies feel threatened. Countries that are not are allies feel happy because America is in turmoil, but they know they are threatened in the back of their heads too.

Now, I’m sure I could be called a “Libitard,” for buying into the facts that have been presented to me, but I don’t think that’s true. I’ve long come to terms with “Liberal Hypocrisy” as a mainstay of thought. The idea that a liberal has all answers to problems so that they can get a long. A so-called “higher path” to the bigoted, narrow minded Republicans. But, in the words of Lewis Black, “if liberals are so good at winning, why do they lose?” I’ll tell you why. Because from up on that seat, that high horse, it becomes harder to get down and vote. “We’ve got this in the bag.” “There’s no way we can lose.” “They’re handing us this election by putting Trump against Clinton.” Really? 2/3rds of America doesn’t vote. What if half of one of that third comes out and votes? That’s what happened for Republicans. But it’s more than that. It’s taking our politics seriously. It’s standing up and saying “I’m going to watch the news even though I hate the news because my life will be changed by this election.” And change it shall. Many people are talking about moving out of the country. Canada’s citizenship website crashed. Maybe the reality is that we’ve been spread too thin. There’s no way the needs of Iowa match the needs of California, Texas, New York, and Utah.

And I get it, State’s have rights to. I live in California. I know that my life is probably going to be the least impacted out of the whole country by this election—save nuclear war. But as a citizen of this country I am distraught. Because Donald Trump has been divisive in his rhetoric. Sure, he united a party that was on the verge of falling apart, but uniting half the country and alienating the other half is worse than alienating a quarter of the country. Think about how much you hate your opposing party’s candidate. Think how much you hate that one aunt that is voting in opposition with you. Think about how much you were surprised your friend was voting for the enemy team, and how much you loathe them now. It’s almost brother versus brother. It makes my stomach hurt because all these things we stand for—and I don’t even know which “we” I am referring to—but the things that we stand for have been compromised. I was taught that bullying was a weak man’s trade. I was taught that being braggadocios is proof of an excess of pride. I am not Christian, but I was taught that humility should supersede the rest of life. I was taught that all men are created equal. I was taught that if you worked hard, things would get better. Tonight, I have been taught that you can short cut your way to success by taking advantage of people. And I’m not sure what that means for the rest of the world. But it’s 12:08 AM now, and here we are.

I wish I could end on a positive note. That the sun will rise in the morning. But if the sun rises red with anger, and hate, is that really a sun we can all live happily under?

 

Edit:

Here’s a post-post election thought that I figured I should add in. I sat down to add this at 12:03 PM on the day after the election. Ironically, “Good Morning” by Kanye West was the first song on by Pandora. As shaken as I still am by the decision America made last night, life does go on. Hate will get us one of two places. One, further divided. Riots are starting, which I am not surprised about. I am worried they will escalate to Civil War. We haven’t experienced a Civil War with nuclear weapons, and I doubt we want to. The other option I see hate bringing us is the same cyclical nonsense that occurred when Obama was first put in office. Remember that? Remember the Tea Party people? And while the phrase “not my president” has continued to this day, I would hope that we could be the better people, and put that aside. There is only so much space in prisons. Do not sit down if hatred sets in, but do no be the person to insight violence. Protect each other. Do not let this so-called “white lash” become the split in our country that causes us to sink under.

A DAY TRIP

Hello everyone.

 

There are a lot of writing exercises that are done to get creative juices flowing. Sometimes there are quick writes, sometimes there are poetic writings, and I do a lot of them. A hard one is writing a story without punctuation, or capitalization, or anything related to Modern English grammar, which I am going to do today. It’s really difficult for me to do, and I recommend you read it out loud, because it is much easier to do that than read it in you mind. It is supposed to be a little jolting. Enjoy!:

 

we were watching the bee fly by when there was suddenly a strong wind that picked up him up and took him away to his next adventure for us we were still sitting on our red and white blanket and sipping at our red wine there was a lot of interesting flavors and honestly i have never been one to enjoy wine but my partner was enthralled by it the cheese and the bread was fresh and were a wonderful compliment to the wine as the day rolled by we drunk our wine and became quite intoxicated so much so that our words slurred and our giggles became more and more childish which in many ways made the afternoon more beautiful of course not all things can last and eventually the sunset arrived our picnic basket left empty and our glasses tossed aside i felt her hands in mine as the sun turned the skyline orange before us the clouds became a beautiful golden until eventually the light snuffed out all together the stars came out and we leaned back onto the blanket to look out into the sky above us and saw the moon a half sliver to bat away in the night and we lay there with out hands interlocked to drift away into a cool sleep until the temperature dropped and we awoke with a start it was night and there was nobody around us no children swinging no dogs barking just a few crickets chirping away the night she yawned and wiped the sleep in her eyes away before looking up to meet my gaze she smiled and accidentally knocked an empty wine bottle over we watched it roll down the hill slowly before eventually coming to a stop a small duck from the lake a short distance away came waddling over and tripped over the bottle in the darkness we shared a laugh before gathering our stuff up to go home i slipped my shoes back on which was a gruff change from the cool pricks of the grass to the hard innersoles of the shoe lining my shoes were well worn and quite a shabby site but she did not care because they were just shoes we walked carried our bottles like drunken sailors to make our walk more interesting because it is fun to escape from the struggles of the world around you sometimes even if in the morning we both would have work to do when we finally did get home things it must have been two or three in the morning because steven our neighbor was asleep and he is quite the night owl we stumbled up the stairs trying to stifle our giggles i reached for my keys and fumbled with the lock before finally getting it unlocked as i put my hand on the door to open up she put her hand on my chin and turned me to look at her she was a full head shorter than me but the quickly stood up to peck my lips with her own i felt a little dazed and she sunk back to the ground with a smile then she looked at the door expectantly and we walked inside as we had so many times before i loved her company and she loved mine but we were in no way demanding of each other when things happened they happened and when they did not they did not in the end when our heads hit our pillows we were out sawing logs but as i sank into a deep sleep i knew it had been another great day with her

 

Ok. Whew, that’s over with. What’d you think? Did it flow better the more you read it? Should I do this again? Let me know!

 

*I do not own the featured image. Credit to the photographer, though I could not find their name.

PROBLEMS WITHOUT SOLUTIONS

Hello everyone,

 

Ok, I decided to take a break from creative writings today, which I’ve been on a bit of a roll with. The other day, I had a class where we had a guest speaker named Dr. Jawaharlal come to talk about the social aspects of Engineering (the class is closer to liberal arts than “pure science”), and he brought up some issues that I have already talked about at length, but he got me thinking more deeply about Nature and Nurture. Now, I’ve always been pretty far on the side of Nurture as being the key aspect in development of thought, and for the most part Dr. Jawaharlal agreed with that. He used the term “social background,” which I think is quite fitting in many ways.

That being said, he was talking about how a person’s background is the main reason they do not succeed in certain areas. For example, at a young age girls are told—directly or indirectly—that they are not supposed to be good at math. Even unintentionally, people are pigeonholed to think they cannot or should not do something. Take genetics, I’m sure someone has heard the phrase “I don’t know where she/he get’s that from. It’s not from me, and it’s not from his/her mother/father.” Isn’t that somehow negative? Well, Dr. Jawaharlal went a little further, and said that this is creating an expectation within someone that they should not be able to do this, and therefore they are less likely to choose a path that takes that. Through the trends of this, less women are pushed into STEM areas (STEM stands for Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math). Now this is a pretty smart engineer—he’s currently working on biomimicry, which is creating technology that is based off processes in nature so as to reduce waste produced by modern technology.

That aside, his idea of a social background got me thinking that nurture is more than just our environment around us, but also ourselves. Think about it, if you tell yourself “I can do this” a thousand times per day, won’t you eventually succeed? What if you told yourself every day for 10 years “I can’t ride a bike.” When you get on that bike, do you think you will be able to do it? Would you even get on the bike? So apply the same logic to math. And sure, it is easy to write this off by saying “well, that’s their personal error. They should be able to drone out the voices of others and be more positive.” But that’s hard to do in reality.

I know there is a term for this; it is called internalization, which means you take something to heart from outside. The psychology idea is a self-fulfilling prophecy (sort of). Yet neither of these ideas have an answer for how to fix it. At least, that’s not what is taught in classes. Problems without solutions. The answer is simple in reality—don’t put people down like this. Think before you speak. That doesn’t just mean figure out what you are saying, but also figure out how they will impact the people around you. There’s a huge difference between “you suck at that” and “you could do better at that.”

 

*Once again, I do not own this image. It is from the University of Surrey website.

SPOKEN FOR

I’m feeling a little uncomfortable,

Because all these people speaking for me

Some how made it impossible to see

That I am not totally vulnerable.

Such good intentioned people gone awry,

Thinking I have been done great injustice.

They speak like Antony and Augustus,

Before they made Rome’s democracy die.

They speak for me, yet they do not speak true.

They know nothing about my heritage,

And still they presume to know my baggage;

That the Killing Fields were in plain view.

All they have done is assert their own self,

And further clouded who I really am,

The truth is, they don’t really give a damn,

They argue to cure their personal health.

*Quick note, I don’t own this image, but it’s super cool. I couldn’t find the artist to credit them, but if you know, please let me know so I can.

REAL RESPECT

Hello everyone,

 

I’ve been debating what to write about today, and while I was thinking about writing about heroes and battles because I am reading Beowulf, I decided the instead talk about respect. Now, as you know, 2016 is an interesting time in life. I, myself, am a cool 21 years old and have really just gotten the hang of knowing things…sort of. Anyway, respect is something that I hear thrown a lot today, and it really is hard for me to understand where people are coming from.

Let’s take the Trump campaign (an ever wild ride). People are saying that it’s their right for us to respect their opinion, or that we are being disrespectful by not condoning their bigoted statements because they are entitled to them. And that’s actually well and true—they are allow to say all these things, and in some ways it is disrespectful to disagree with them. However, it is also true that disagreeing with their opinions is also a right, and by saying we shouldn’t do so, they have created the same argument for us which they used to protect themselves. So that doesn’t really work.

Now let’s tackle respect for the flag. A symbol of the nation. By not standing during the national anthem, Colin Kaepernick challenged the idea that we must always respect the symbol of our nation. And he’s within his rights to do so. Peaceful protest is protected by the nation, and to say that it should not be done is simple minded. Nations fall and rise over the course of history, like everything. I guarantee you the party of Lincoln is vastly different today than it was when he was alive. Everyone remember the USSR? What about the great Roman Empire? The idea of a nation is a human construct, just like our rights. That being said, our rights are a positive construct, while a nation is always debatable. Kaepernick believes that our nation currently isn’t a positive construct, because it does not treat all people equally. And in all honesty, he’s right.

So the claim that he’s being disrespectful to our nation comes under the assumption that our nation always deserves respect. And it doesn’t. Respect is a human construct to preserve alliances and avoid violence. But it is only earned mutually. A person cannot say “you must respect me” and then spit all over you. Or rather, they can say it, but you will not harbor any respect for them. So this claim by conservatives makes no sense. Why would Kaepernick respect a country that has shown time and again that it does not respect him, or the idea he is representing?

Faith. That’s such an unfair argument. To “have faith” that these people will not treat him wrong, when statistics are in favor of the white man. I think, in all honesty, that I would take the one theme throughout history over a single nation’s measly 230 odd years. And that theme is being human. Black lives aren’t being treated as other human lives are being treated. They deserve that respect. Some people are claiming that they are being disrespected by the Black Lives Matter protesters because it’s anti-American. Well if it’s anti-American to claim human rights, is the problem the people, or the country’s standards? Ask yourselves that, conservatives on this issue, and realize where you stand on the side of real respect.

What do you think? Am I totally wrong? Are my points valid but need a better structure? Let me know!